My bf started working third shift over a year ago. Back then I was drinking so I would just sit at home and drink for a distraction. I have bipolar and borderline personality (severe abandonment issues and need for attention, huge problem here!). Lately I've been struggling with instability in my BP and I get obsessive thoughts that trigger anxiety when I'm home alone. And I admit, I've started drinking at nights again but not as much. I'm worried this could get out of hand though. I know others would suggest a hobby or friends but I can usually only tolerate people in small doses while my bf is my best friend. In other words, he's the only person I can stand to be around and comfortable with. Sometimes when he's gone I cry. And I want to stay up all night just to see him come home so I can spend any time at all with him. No matter how tired I am. I feel this is getting to the point of being unhealthy. I've even been thinking of a companion/therapy dog to help me when I'm anxious and alone.

I'm writing this tonight because I'm sober and it's making this day very hard. I've spent most of my day catching up on fav tv shows but I've watched... Them... All. I'm worried about my mentality and sobriety when I'm like I am tonight. I know I should just get to bed and sleep it out but I really just want to stay up till he gets home. We don't get much time alone with having his kids here part time but it's better than nothing. I hate this third shift **** and after a year you'd think I'd be used to it. But like I said, my BP isn't doing too good right now so I'm vulnerable and anxious.

I'm not sure what answers I'm looking for here. Is there anyone that gets separation anxiety this bad too?

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