LeeeLeee - Thank you so much for your understanding. It sounds like you know exaclty what I am going threw. You have been there and done that.

I am scared to death some days to go back. It is like russian roulette. I am taking a huge gamble. IT could go badly, he could watch me like a hawk, limit every ounce of money, and not let me out of his sight with out knowing where I am. Eventually fear will keep me bound just like I was before I left.
or
There is a chance that things will be ok when I fist get home but turn out to be difficult. But there will be some long term improvements, enough to make things at least bearable long term. I feel like I have to at least give things a try. Work has been done and I feel like before I can completely say I am done or I am fully committed to this, I need to live in it a little while.
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In a perfect world, things will have improved greatly, and the situation will look nothing like it once did. We will have one less child at home by the time I move home and the other will be turning 18 in a a couple of years. In a perfect world all will go smoothly and it will be smooth sailing minus the average hiccups.