I dont mean to, but I can be snappy with people when Im stressed or upset. I dont realise I am being this way its only from having a chat with a good friend that Ive become to understand sometimes my speech can come across this way. I obviously dont want to hurt my friends and its hard when you dont recognise yourself doing it. I find it really hard to gauge peoples tones in speech whether its spoken or written and its only been in recent years that Ive really found my own voice through typing and the online community so I feel like socially Im still a beginner. I have a lot of information in my brain and over the years Ive gone from barely verbal/mute to awkwardly talking and stuttering and not being able to express myself to finding my platform to express myself through typing. I have a lot more fluidity with my thoughts and being able to express myself. This however has meant I understand I am lacking in a lot of areas. Having this way of properly being able to communicate has helped me a lot with my confidence verbally too.

Do you have any tips on how to recognise in myself when Im being snappy? I know sometimes I can get really frustrated, problem solving and puzzles and patterns is one of my favourite things, but I know I get frustrated when people try and solve my life problem puzzles because they cant see the pieces of the puzzle in my head. Instead of getting frustrated with people I want to be able to explain that actually on a friendship level companionship and distraction helps me most, but by that point Im frustrated and upset. This is where the being snappy comes in. Sometimes when I get stuck on things I do ask for advise, but sometimes I feel people get caught up in trying to give advise without asking me if I actually need advise and this is where I get frustrated.

Have you got any suggestions on what I could work on and how maybe I can explain things without being rude or snappy? The last thing I want to do is hurt my friends or make them feel like Im pushing them away when Im trying to explain I need a different approach. It makes me sad knowing Ive hurt friends and I really want to learn how to manage this.

I know this might sound a bit weird asking for advise on how to ask people not to give me advise, but I need to find a tactful way to explain to friends or create an understanding so that if I do need advise I can ask and if I dont need advise and its upsetting me that I can have a way to explain without being blunt/rude/snappy.. Does this make any sense?

I want to learn to be a better friend to my friends.

Thank you.