You say you are worried you are a bad person. That is a good sign. Based on what you say, I agree you made bad decisions. But it seems like they were honest mistakes and you feel bad about them. What more can you do? It is hard for us all, and in different ways.

I am a very strange person that doesn't understand relationships, but recently started to think about them a lot.

When you say Jake pursued you, you blew him off, and then you gave in because he kept pursuing, that sounds odd to me. I always hear woman don't like it when guys over-pursue. Apparently, you went on dates in him when your heart wasn't into it. That I think is dishonest. Yeah, he wasn't innocent because he didn't take 'no' for an answer and he ought to have known that if you said 'yes', you wouldn't be as into him as you ought to be. But I think when two people go on a date, and they both agree it is a date, they both need to be open to a romantic development.

You say you 'hung out', but right before that you said you gave in to his romantic pursued. Then you say you changed your mind and developed feelings. Did he even know that? I mean, he is into you a lot. Pursues you a lot. You give in. You actually start to feel something. You spend enough time together. And then you tell him you are 'just friends'. That must have been hard and confusing to him.

But then you two started seeing each other more? As friends?

You don't need a BF/GF talk. I don't know how old you are. But if you are spending a lot of time together, you should both be aware this is serious.

You never mention any intimacy, I guess there wasn't any. Why?

He said 'I love you' when drunk and you say you don't take it serious? Why? He is less truthful when drunk? Probably the opposite.

Sounds like he never figured out your heart wasn't into this relationship or that he just didn't have the strength to save himself from the drama you were putting him through.
All I can think about is that he should have walked out on you.

So he didn't tell you we would be moving and that's bad because you were in a relationship. I don't see where it says that you did something to make this a serious relationship.
I don't blame him for wondering how serious your relationship was. Maybe you left out important bits, but it seems he was a lot more into you than you into him, and you gave mixed signals and strung him along. You can't blame him for not taking the relationship as serious as you want him to take it.

Then you get in a weak moment and you want to call/text Jake, but you end up calling a guyfriend. Why not a girlfriend? Who is this guy anyway that he and you start having sex right away? Are you sure he knew he was a friend and strong enough to be a friend? Sounds like he is another guy you were stringing along? If he knew his role, he wouldn't have let you have sex with him, just because you are in a weak moment. Either he is a bad friend, or just someone romantically interested in you, glad to take the opportunity you were giving him. The two of you basically ruined a years old friendship for sex that was stopped by you halfway. This guy should have seen this coming, but if he was really into you for years, then that's cruel on him as well.

I want to be kind. But if you want me to tell you Jake and your guyfriend are to blame for this, based on your side of the story, not their side, which is probably different, I don't see how I can do that.

What is in the past, is in the past. Don't feel too bad about the mistakes you made. I believe they were honest mistakes. I would worry more about why you made them and how to prevent them in the future.

It is not clear to me if you and Jake were exclusive. I guess you felt you had to be exclusive, otherwise you wouldn't make a point out of this. You should have told him you weren't ready to be exclusive with him the moment he brought it up. And he should have guessed you weren't because you didn't reciprocate his 'I love you' and 'I am faithful' to you.

I would say that if you can live near each other to see each other often enough, and what often enough is depends on the individual, and you can both have a job, I would say to him that I finally made up my mind and I want to give this relationship my best effort. Then when you actually get serious doubts again, break up. No point being in a relation for 10 yeas where you start to doubt every 6 months.

As for your guyfriend, this needs a more refined judgment. If and how much alcohol was involved matters, I feel. But basically I think he is a bad guyfriend. Not a bad person. But the wrong person to be your guyfriend. More likely than not, he was romantically interested in you way before your moment of weakness. And when you called him, he made you weaker, not stronger. I think you should hafve taken the blame on yourself for what happened, and ended the friendship.

And for new guyfriends, make sure they don't have a crush on you and make sure they are strong enough to not jump at every opportunity for sex.

Let me say this again, because I want to be kind. Lot's of people do terrible things to each other and have no second thoughts. Your decisions were flawed and they bother you a lot. That is healthy. It means you are a good person at heart.

And good persons who only make good decisions, they wouldn't be posting here.