I dont think its mean things so much as maybe more blunt or factual in a kinda rough edged way? I dont say things to purposefully hurt people but I guess I might be dismissive and say something like that I cant deal with hypothetical ideas that arent concrete or feasible with my given circumstance.

I didnt know it was a problem until I talked to a couple friends about it so its hard for me to really explain because Im not sure which parts are snappy. Im grateful to have friends who will actually take the time to explain that I upset them so I can try and learn to be better with my words.

I was trying to express my needs in that the advise without knowing what Ive already tried or talked about or knowing the full story to know all the variables to be able to make a valid suggestion that is helpful makes me even more upset when I all I need is a friend. And by a friend I mean maybe talking about their day, hanging out, talking about something else, distraction. Unless Im really stuck and I ask for outside perspectives I find it more frustrating than helpful. For me distraction is a big part of helping me calm down enough that I can better assess a problem.. Some problems dont even have solutions that you can put in place, sometimes its waiting for an outcome from a professional or needing to let time take its course..

I thought I was looking after myself by explaining that something was upsetting me.. but thats moot if by proxy I hurt someone I care about in the process.

I just guess Im looking to find a way to ask for companionship rather than advise without making the other person feel bad for just trying to help?