Good post Sister, yes it is like a waking up. My use of the word "should" was really meant to mean, "oh this is where I need to be moving toward now", so yes I agree there are no shoulds.

But I like the waking up, its like a waking up at a deeper and deeper level that there is another humanbeing in the room and not just a object, but seeing her as an object has served its purpose up till now.

Now I think I need another humanbeing to relate too.