Things are going ok, not great, but not bad either. Things certainly could be much worse. I'm still trying to get settled into my new apartment and there are boxes and bags of stuff EVERYWHERE and it's driving me nuts. I'd stay up and try to get some stuff done while I have energy but I know my brother will be home eventually and all he'll want to do is go straight to bed (apparently he had a bad day at work, according to my mom). Met with my pdoc yesterday who reminded me that I need to stop being so hard on myself. We're keeping my cocktail the same for now and will keep evaluating as needed. The only change is that he now wants me to see my therapist every week instead of every 3-4 weeks. I'm trying to remain positive, but sometimes it's just not that easy.

My aunt who is BP1 apparently had a really bad week and my mom was afraid she'd end up back in the hospital. Thankfully she seems to have calmed down enough that it didn't end up that way. I used think of everything my aunt has gone through over the years and it would make me sad. Now I'm almost angry at the fact that could be me someday. Yes, I'm still angry and bitter about my diagnosis and I'm trying to get past it, but again...it's not easy.