I agree with Skeezyks - No one is really interested. Whenever I have touched on the subject, hoping that someone will care, they either get angry or embarrassed. Either way, it has stopped me from ever trying to talk about it with anyone in my life.

I have however, described it to my psychologist/counsellor as being in a deep dark hole in the ground. My 'normal' was that I could look up and see beautiful blue sky but that's all I could see and it is more mocking than comforting as being in the bottom of the hole means it is not part of my experience. Sometimes I would try to crawl up the sides of the hole and sometimes would even make it to the edge but when I grasped the edge the earth would fall away, tumbling me back to the bottom of the hole, here I then sit hugging myself in the dark.

I used to hope that someone would look over the top and see me and maybe throw me a rope or lower a ladder down the hole but no one ever even looks or calls down to me. Then I realised it is up to me alone to crawl and climb and even when I feel that there is a possibility that I might get out this time, I ultimately fail and fall to the bottom again.

In recent years I have climbed less and less and can usually be found sitting in the dark at the bottom, hugging my knees to my chest, not even looking upwards anymore. This has become my new normal.