I agree with RxQueen^ You need to get to the root of what is really causing you to have those feelings and address it. Yes, that means seeing a doctor and yes that means coming clean about your habits and yes, depending on the doctor they will label you an "addiction risk" but you will feel sooooooo much better once someone else knows and once you have taken the steps to get help for yourself. I used to drink every night to relax and fall asleep. Dont let your doctor/NP/med provider (whoever writes your scripts) degrade you and treat you like a junkie. It sounds to me like you are nowhere near that. I have been through several Nurse Practitioners and doctors for that exact reason. I got tired of them labeling me as an "addiction risk" and then prescribing benign meds that got me nowhere. However, now I feel as if I have found the right doctor who listens and prescribes me almost anything (within reason).

I can speak from experience that your habit may seem innocent enough now, but there may come a day where it will completely take over your life and you may find yourself in a difficult position. I had/have a problem with prescription painkillers and I used them for the same reason you do. It always gave me a really relaxed feeling but also a boost of energy and then I felt like I could do anything. But it soon turned into chasing a high and then money, jobs, family, relationships suffered and I was wishing I could take it all back.

Bottom line: if you can get in with a good doctor (try and see a Psychiatrist, not some stupid PA or NP) and get your anxiety and depression treated successfully, you may notice that your urges for substance use will slowly become less and less (at least mine did) Its a long road and it sucks (especially the first year) but after that, you will feel so much better.