I too have been moving through these same troubling issues with my boyfriend of 3 years. It began in similar fashion. At first the insecurity began in a way that I was able to brush it off, as we had so much fun, laughter and common hobbies to share. It has sense that time grown very chaotic with his showing up at places such as my hair cut appointments to lash out because he's convinced I'm on my phone with some imagined person. He's shown up while I'm out of town on business because he's got this idea that I'm being unfaithful. This is categorically not the way I am. Once more, it was he who was found my my girlfriend to be on multiple dating websites, actively looking. I have quite simply grown very tired of the eggshell landscape that exists between he and I. I've tried to maintain boundaries in a kind manner in order to take a break from the chaos. He simply refuses to allow for a break up. So... In the end, I can completely relate to your situation. I wish you the best in finding the answers you need in order to either make a break, or move forward with your girlfriend.