Big Mama, it's very hard to teach an old dog new tricks. It's understandable that you worry that "if" you choose to go back to your husband that he will end up slipping back into his old patterns that were not healthy for you.

It's probably not so much that he works so much, but that he tends to bring home whatever is stressing him and takes it out on you in some way. It also sounds like he is the type of individual that takes up "all" the space when he is around, takes up whatever space you happen to be "in" when it comes to "his" home.

It sounds like the time you have been "away" and have had your "own" space has become meaningful to you, even comfortable. Well, once one has that and realizes how nice it is to have one's OWN SPACE, it's hard to go back to a place where that simply did not exist for you.