Spaz,

It WAS a mistake. Please allow yourself that much and don't beat yourself up. We're very sorry about the passing of Marmalade & Boysenberry.

Keep taking care as it sound like you're dealing w/ a lot from your move still. Maybe wait a while before getting others? Let the kitten settle in and keep working on your issues.

Grieve as you need to. Mourn the loss. And one day you'll wake up and know it is time to open your heart to some new mice.

with sympathy and care,
__zh