No, no one else can change what bothers us but they can be "aware" and sensitive :-) It is very comforting to have someone act like they're paying attention ;-)

We're not responsible for other people's bothers or getting them to change and can ignore their efforts to change us but paying attention to what is "happening" on all these fronts is our job I think and, for me, keeps me comfortable when my husband has a problem and isn't paying attention to me/my suggestions or is otherwise doing his own thing when I am wishing for attention. I had a "good" experience when I wanted something a specific way and didn't think he'd go along with it so kept hammering him about it and it took him 15 minutes to get through to me that I was ignoring the part of his message that said, "I will help you". I was, in effect, fighting with myself all that time :-)