Can you guys believe this is still keeping me up at night? One mistake and I obsess and obsess and obsess. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I've spiraled into depression. I'm back where I was a few weeks ago when I believed that my job prospects were really bleak. I'm cycling around from being upset about the mistake to being upset about my career in general (I don't feel like I'm very valuable on the marketplace) to being upset about my lost love relationship to being upset about my parents (I miss them and my dad isn't doing too great). And on and on and on. Mostly the mistake is obsessing me right now which is really absurd. I mean, all the awful things that can happen and that's what keeps me up at night. But I'm really in a bad way. I've actually had thoughts of self-injury (something I've never done) because I just want to punish myself somehow. And I've had strange thoughts too. I feel like I could only sleep if it was in a room full of people. I go crazy when I'm alone. I suddenly thought that it would help to sleep under the bed (which would be disgusting) -- I don't know why. I think I mentioned in another thread that I think I could sleep if someone were literally pinning me down. What kind of weird idea is that?! I walked into a psychic shop and had my palms read -- just to distract myself and to have some sort of weird connection for a few minutes (I don't buy into the idea of psychic readings). I tried to go out last night, met up with some friends and then wigged out and had to leave. I went to my sister's instead. I've been dumping all my problems on her (something I've never done before and which she can blame my being in therapy for ) and that helps. But I still go nuts the minute I'm alone again. I feel like I want to tear off my skin.

Sidony