Hello bluecity043: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm afraid I don't have any great suggestions for you here. From what you wrote, I don't get the impression this girl is the "love of your life". It sounds like you'd like to keep the relationship going if possible. But, if not, you wouldn't be devastated either. Certainly, with therapy, Lily can work through her issues. But whether or not she has the desire to do so is another question. Time will tell...

The other thing you may want to consider though is, as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Perhaps, without even without realizing it, you are also doing some things that are triggering Lily's insecurities. If the two of you were in a more long-term relationship, some couples counseling might be worth considering. However it doesn't sound like what the two of you have is that kind of relationship... at least not yet. In the meantime, from my perspective, what is important here is for the two of you to keep talking. Open communication is critical in maintaining a romantic relationship.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!