I have had disordered eating issues for as long as I can remember. When I was young it was more overeating and once I got to high school it more toward the severe restricting of anorexia.

I was on psych meds the last 6 1/2 years and it definitely amplified my overeating, as a result I ballooned. I'm super severely restricting to lose the weight.

That being said, on one hand I think I should reach out for help I know someone who specializes in this kind of stuff, an old T(if she'd work with me again, we didn't end on the best of terms), on the other hand my disordered eating(I call it my alter ego) screams, "Hell NO! You have to lose the weight first."

Is there really help when the fear of "higher" calorie counts leave you with severe anxiety?