hi mel,
first of all id like to say good for you for realizing that you need to reach out for help. i had compulsive binge eating disorder my entire life, i mean literally my entire life. my first memory of food is binging on a pizza in my closet when i was like 4. i never knew there was a name for what i was doing. i learned a lot of unhealthy behaviors about food at a very early age. i lost my mom 4 years ago to every complication one can have from obesity. i was scared. i was following the same path. i was desperate so i lied to drs and got lapband surgury 2 years ago. thats when my compulsive binge eating disorder evolved into anorexia and bulimia. when you described how you feel after you binge my heart broke for you. people over eat all the time. when the consuming guilt accompanies it, thats when theres a problem. my suggestion would be to talk to your parents and/or a therapist about how your feeling about yourself. its important. i have a very distorted body image and tho i know im not i still see myself as obese. after seeing my mom die i know that obesity has consequences. its a disease and like most diseases and disorders there are underlying issues. i weighed what i weighed for a reason ya know? i certainly wouldnt want to see you develop type2 diabetes or high blood pressure or cholesterol or anything. good health should always be our main concern when it comes to what we put into our bodies but just as important if not more so, i dont want to see you feel badly about yourself. im on a quest myself for self acceptance. if i knew how to get there id tell ya but just dont let the binging or the guilt and/or obsessive thinking take you over. nip it in the bud and talk to someone. i may be one screwed up chicky but im a great listener take care mel.
aimee'