I've been having intense suicidal thoughts today. I tried to go seek treatment this morning but because of my lack of health insurance it's hard to find. I've been given "temporary insurance" which is basically no insurance. I'm so tired. Exhausted of dealing with severe anxiety and depression. I should start taking my meds. I had been worried about taking them because I drink a lot. I'm not sure how healthy the combination would be. I feel like I might want to leave this world. This is probably the worst I have ever felt in my life. Should I call 911 if I feel tempted? Would that even matter? I'm sure no one would hospitalize me anyways. Can somebody help me 'cuz it's getting harder and harder to breath.