Hello, all. I am a new member who has struggled for years with depression, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, and many other issues. I do not have professional help, but I have decided to begin working on trying to heal from a number of very painful events in my past that have led me to this point.

I made a list of those events, and chronologically, the first was my parents' divorce when I was six years old. I have been reading articles about what children of that age experience during divorce, and picked up the book The Long Way Home by Gary Neuman - a book for helping adults whose parents divorced when they were children.

I have begun Neuman's program and although I am only on step two, which involves remembering and writing down memories before, during, and after the divorce, that alone has brought up some powerful feelings and helped me realize a lot of the grief, insecurity, fear, and lack of trust I experience may actually be rooted in this event. I have particularly uncovered an incredible amount of childhood anger at my mother that I don't think I ever dealt with as a kid, and that is almost certainly coloring my relationship with her as an adult.

I wanted to reach out to others whose parents divorced when they were young, and ask - how did you heal from that event? What was helpful to you?

My parents never fought in front of me, and one day my mother just told me that they were getting divorced. It was the same day she put my father out of the house.

I was bonded much more closely to my father than my mother as a young child, and I'm not sure why - maybe because I was premature, and my father was with me immediately after I was born but my mother was recovering from a very difficult labor? She didn't get to hold me for three days, and then she didn't know how to care for a baby at first. My dad was the one who took care of me as a newborn, though mom did learn and took over from my dad later. It just makes me wonder why I was so much more closely bonded to my dad and how that impacted the things I experienced when they divorced and he left.

Like, maybe part of why I was so angry at my mom and why I grew up insecure and afraid was because she made my "safe" parent go away suddenly? One day everything was ok, and the next, the world dropped out from under my six-year-old feet. I feel like maybe it taught me that nobody can be trusted, and when things are going fine, there's probably something bad being hidden from you and just waiting to happen.

I am interested in hearing any thoughts you might have, or want to share, about recovering from your parents' divorce as an adult. I did not get any professional support at the time they divorced and feel like I may have buried a lot of my fears and feelings about it, especially so because it was the start of a long and very painful experience involving my father. I am hopeful that Neuman's book and program will help me check this particular item off my list of things to address, and would appreciate your input.