it's really hard to talk about me feeling like this, i'm surpose to be a strong person, but I AM NOT. just pretend to be, I wish i could stay here, with people that knows what it feels like what i am feeling but it's not possible right now, i would like to come back later tonight and maybe talk in chat if i'm allowed to, since i am a new member or not, i know on some forums you have to be there for a month or so before allowed in chats. thanks again for the responses.