Hey Burnt-out, I'm a little tired today and tbh everyone has pretty much said what I would have only better than I could.
One thing really leapt out at me from this:
Quote:
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I'm not really doing anything. What's there to do? I do my best to be the best person I can be, and despite that I still do not posses the value to be worth dating, replying to, swiping right, showing interest in, etc. A therapist isn't going to fix that. A plastic surgeon, maybe.
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I could have written word for word what you said here when I was young. I understand all to well the urge to kick yourself harder when you are down, to self-blame, I've done it all before.
Life got much better when I stopped doing that (or at least mostly stopped doing that, I guess you could say I'm in recovery), my relationships improved, friendships developed, because I was accepting of myself. It might sound simplistic but when you are not accepting of yourself that self doubt tends to come across to others, you can fake it but false confidence can be read by others too.
Maybe a T could help you understand why you beat yourself up like this, maybe that's not necessary you might be able to work on this yourself, there is a wealth of self help stuff online about self compassion. Here is something for starters:
Self-Compassion