i hope this works i'm playing with my 5 post/24 hour thing. wrote forever earlier, got erased. sux. isn't the wind thing just damning on the mind. it's like, "hi, i'm ann, and i'm scared of air" i mean damn. i dont understand why either. maybe a control thing? i go to craft festivals, and have one of those e-z up canopies. i need it secured heavily to the ground, a klonopin, and a bottle of wine or i'm petrified that it's gonna blow over. like fighting to not run screaming petrified. i'm hoping when i get in dbt it will help that. i can't even stand my dreamcatchers' feathers lazing along in the breeze. when i get a new doc i have to find out if there's anything i can take daily for anxiety that doesn't drowse u out. and not paxil, it's crap. my doc now sux, i wouldn't ask him for a vitamin change. dont trust him. and that's sh*ty. oh let me say now while i'm thinking about it i type everything that comes to mind. so if i start crossing lines into annoying or anything like that, yall have to promise to tell me. i get obsess-paranoid about people being....can't think of the word.....like, "oh god not her again", and other such thoughts. know what i mean? i had a friend when younger and they got like that, cause she always had the "were they/you talking about me?". i try not to get like that. i just obsess it in my head cause i'm scared to ask and turn into her. you know what i mean. ok, i'm hoping this pops up, i'm gonna try copy paste if it's not long enough.