I get thoughts that make me so angry that I start slapping my thigh repeatedly. I have thoughts of reciprocating violently to the people who abused me in the past and who continue to abuse me by giving negative references so that no one will hire me. (I worked for 3 sociopaths in a row. All were women. The best T I ever had said the best therapy would be for me to find a full-time job but no one will hire me.) I have never been violent with anyone; it's all contained. But, I continue to have intrusive thoughts of me defending myself and fighting back or getting even. This has gone on for years and seems never ending. T's offer no effective treatments. I do not want women friends any longer. I really dislike women. But, I don't fit in with the guys either. And, due to severe allergies, I cannot have a pet (not that I would want one anyway). My life is hell. I don't know what to do anymore.