Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
Remember also, his brain works the way it works for a reason (Asperger's & OCD), not by choice & even if he can learn to respond differently, many times the way the brain works slips out no matter how much learning is done when it comes right down to every day living situations.
It's not easy having your own space just having your kids but having a H that doesn't respect your space or is capable of understanding your need for that space, would make going back that much more difficult.
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I agree about having your own space and the other person not respecting ones need for that. It is going to be a challenge for sure when I return. I have to chisel out some time and space for ME in that house. H did finally agree that I could being a couple of shadow boxes of my two horses that have passed. He agreed that some of the things I have painted can come to the house. For him that is a huge step. Lets hope it continues.
You are so right about hte ASP and OCD brain. It simply is what it is. That is the catch 22. HE may not be able to change. He may be able to learn responses, and to be quiet sometimes, but there will be things that come up that you cannot teach and you cannot rehearse. That may well be the last straw.
I feel like I have to try. We have both learned things. I feel like I have to go back and try. I have to see if these things make a big enough difference.
My aunt told me a long time ago, "Sweetie you should have left his *** a long time ago, then you could have a marriage like mine" She left her H, took the kids and returned some time later. He missed his kids and had a whole new respect for her. She had a balls of steal after she returned. ( Not sure if I can say that here, sorry to any one that may take offence to that)OR at least her H thought she did. The T has tole me I absolutely must set the stage now for what I will accept for the rest of my life. This is my one big chance. (thanks, that makes me feel better :/ )