Yikes! This is very tough to read. I so so so so wanted my marriage to work, and I wanted to enjoy my marriage and my partner and my kids and living.
I like my kids.
Everything else is crap.
My wife refuses to go to counseling of any kind.
There's a point where I feel it's just all a steep uphill at all times.
But the uphill part I feel is way better than stewing in a rotten marriage and not feeling joyful about anything.