I have had numerous times where I have "connected the dots" about my past influencing my present. One somewhat positive one is the feeling I get after going to the store to get food. I feel absolutely giddy when I have all that food. I just feel set for anything--no matter what happens, I will be ready because I have enough food. I know that comes from not having enough when I was a child.

Be careful with the birth control pills. It sounds like you are taking all the right precautions.