i'm sorry - i hadn't read the whole thread - just most of it and i see why you were feeling upset in response to my post...

it sounds like things weren't going so well for you as you are kind of thinking that they were in hindsight. the restricted eating... the viewing him as a brother then staying and doing things you didn't feel comfortable with...

i can understand why you felt betrayed by him... someone who you thought would protect and look after you. and you ended up... realising that you had lost that. you wouldn't feel protected and safe about him anymore.

i think that this incident... has become a symbol of other stuff that would have been going on in your life well before that...

it could really help to talk to a councellor... about the eating... about the low self esteem...