I need to just stay away from men altogether. But I LIKE men...I like being with them and all the physical and loving parts of being with men.
The emotional part? That's where the trouble lies. I feel so stupid for having written that guy. It would have been fine if he had stuck with his first reply which was thanks and things are good, hope you are too.
No, he has to send another message the next day saying he misses me but couldn't give me what I wanted. So now I feel sad and confused. And weepy. I am SO tired of these tears, and it's been ongoing for a few days, not withstanding the argument I had the other day with a girl and that made me cry too! I don't even like her, it's just, when I lose my temper and get very angry...I end up crying because of the emotional overload that anger causes me. But that's sort of beside the point here. I do not do well with breakups. I know this. Even with divorcing my ex H, I stood there and cried while we hugged, it was the hardest thing to do but it was the right thing to do. We aren't even mad at each other anymore, I even went to a movie with him the other day. Just friends. It's all we'd been for years anyway. And yet. Here I sit,
crying, over a guy I didn't even see very many times. But who texted me every morning for four months. I wanted it to work out with him. and it makes no sense whatsoever to me for him to miss me, and me to miss him...and be apart????
what the heck is that all about? why would someone act like that?

I just feel so stupid, knowing how badly I react to things, to even try to be with someone. I hate this. And I'm scared. because the last time I went through a breakup I became suicidal, not immediately...it was about a month later. And I ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. So here this is, a month later and I am worse than I was before. I thought I was doing all right. but I"m not. at least not today.

oh well...this too will pass. Does anyone know...or think...that having bipolar 1 makes these things harder for us than the average bear? or is it just me and I am too emotionally sensitive.
I don't even know what to think. Or feel. ugh.