I felt plenty of **** when I was using.

But I respect your right to that opinion.

In any case, OP--Sorry to hear about your relapse. Opiates are a *****. I hope you do talk to your T about this. I don't agree that using somehow renders therapy useless--I think it's a good reason to keep going to therapy.

If the T is worth your time, they won't judge you; if they judge you, they're not worth your time. In my experience, the person most horrified by your drug use is you. Other people have generally been far less judgemental than I expected them to be.

Good luck with everything.

ETA: I agree with JunkDNA that it is very helpful to have someone to be honest with and accountable to. The secrecy is the worst part--drives a huge wedge between you and the rest of the world.