I know how hard it is that constant slap in the face,it is hard not to keep trying for the reaction you really want from your narcissist mum which is for her to love you and recognize your needs.It is sad she will never do that.Don't feel bad going back for more of the same,I did for 35 years and kept getting abuse,eventually you will see the game of narcissistic supply and demand is too much abuse for anyone person with a heart and soul to take,you either get out or they do you serious damage and leave you for dead.I hope you have the strength to leave before you get too badly hurt,therapyishelping!