Without being there, it is hard to tell what is the real issue. I know that I can be very reactive and defensive especially if I feel that people are not really listening or considering my point of view. I grew up with a borderline personality disordered mother and am still decades later working through the damage it caused. I am learning that you cannot change others but just accept them for who they are. You can only change yourself. On another note, if your partner is calling you crazy or starting arguments that previously were not occurring suddenly and consistently, there may be using this to deflect attention from what is really going on. This does happen sometimes when they are cheating. The only way to get to what is going on is to sit down and have a direct and honest conversation. Try to use the "when you do X, I feel Y" format to avoid placing blame.