I have been seeing T for 10 months now. We have a very good client-therapist relationship.

We have been talking about the PTSD symptoms for a while and a couple of months ago I decided to go to my GP and ask them to refer me to a Pdoc to get the diagnosis formalised.
My T was happy that I had made the decision and done something positive. (She called it brave but I don't think it is.)

The more we talked about the assessment with the Pdoc approaching she was talking about EMDR. She felt it may be worth trying and that as I was going for an NHS diagnosis that they might offer it for free but she had found a private EMDR specialist (my T is private practice) incase they didn't. The only problem is EMDR is apparently 'hit and miss' with those on the autism spectrum (like me), so she wasn't sure if it would work well for me.

Then I had the letter to say who my appointment was with and she seemed rather happy. She said she had spoken to him before and he recommends EMDR and trauma focused CBT combined- plus for some patients he also treats with medication.

Now it is a battle of heart vs logic.

I probably won't be able to do EMDR, CBT & see T.

Logic says- T has already said that she wants me to have the right help and says she feels protective of me and she shows obvious care... That this is probably the best thing for me as she isn't trained in EMDR.

Heart feels- rejection. We have discussed me taking up the offer of EMDR and CBT if offered but we never talked about what would happen to our sessions and to be honest I was too scared to ask.

Now it is even more real as 2 days ago I had the assessment and was diagnosed with PTSD and put on the list for EMDR and CBT and started on Sertraline.

Now I am going to have to have the conversation with T (who I don't have a session with until next Friday because of schools breaking up) about what happens now.

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