Break ups are the worst for me too and at age 45 I'm going through the worst feeling breakup I've ever had. And yes, even if breaking up is the right thing to do, it still hurts so bad because our minds search for reasons it should not be happening.

Of course we never want to go through this again but it's unrealistic to believe we won't. It's not a promise we can make ourselves. Nor can we realistically promise ourselves not to love again.

Last night while crying over my break up I landed on a page on Psych Central all about Complicated Grief Complicated Grief: How to Get Unstuck | Bonding Time and it all rang true to me. It started with this quiz.
Grief Quiz - Psych Central

Right now I'm working through a book called "Getting Past Your Breakup" by Susan Elliott. She has this amazing Relationship Inventory that is absolutely healing and puts you on a path to really understanding your pattern and history in your relationships! Get the book and watch her videos. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwj...e0OPdw__-hDe0g

I didn't make any progress until I found Susan Elliott on youtube, stopped all contact with the ex, including stalking him on facebook, and started writing a journal to work through the feelings.

MY BEST ADVICE FOR RIGHT THIS MINUTE RELIEF: Start a journal and get your feelings out every day. Keep it in your computer and just write write write. You will likely cry through it but once the writing stops, you might feel incredible relief as I did.

Best of luck. You can do this hon!

Big Hugs, LeeeLeee