thank you perna, that is so reasonable and practical, the kind of solution i love best. yes, it has become so disorganized. trying to manage my own life is challenging enough. i like your ideas. i'm sure i will put them to use.

i've thought about approaching the sibs but each time in my mind i only see defeat straight from the gate that i've thrown up my hands in surrender... not correct and i know it... thank you for including the part about the library. i know she would appreciate that. i suspect you are right about the "scary situation" the others are feeling. i'm not sure i am the brave one. being raised by my father did make some difference. this is what fate has given me to deal with...

hindsight is 20/20 isn't it? so sad so much can be lost before we get to that point. i am glad your brother and you are close again. my own sister and i have drifted (the others are 1/2 sibs) have grown apart because of this... the fallout... but hopefully someday

you've all been so helpful, i wish i could express it better. that is why i still come here, people like you... best to everyone : )