Well I guess what I was trying to say was we know when we have crossed someone's boundary. We know when we are crossing a line but I can't speak for OP and say what they feel about it but I know if I told my t that I had done that she would want to know exactly what my intentions were, if they romantically driven or if I wanted a connection with her, if I did need connection I could ask and she would usually try to help. Where as I am not sure again if Loco's t would be open to accommodating her needs if he/she could express them.
I would be curious about the desire that drove them to be secretive about wanting connection. Perhaps the OP has reached out to people in the past and been rejected, that would certainly keep my intentions hidden. It sounds as though this was nothing only a genuine need for connection in a hard time.

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