Hello IamHere22: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Contrary to what I think you expect, IamHere22, I'm going to say that what you did was not all that terrible, in the whole scheme of things. There is much worse... believe me. My personal view is that both you & your wife are really turning a dust devil into a tornado, so to speak. And I must admit, I don't understand why...

Sure, would it have been better if it had never happened? Of course! But this is not something to break an otherwise happy marriage over... particularly one which includes an 18 month old child! OMG! What's happening between you & your wife makes me suspect that perhaps things were not going so well to begin with & maybe this is the last straw? After all, you didn't even DO anything with the woman you texted!

I obviously don't know what your wife's motivation is in this. And it is going to be up to her to decide where she wants your marriage to go from here... if anywhere. There's no way you can force her to forgive if she chooses not to. All you can do is to demonstrate, through your actions, that you're determined to do whatever you can to save your marriage.

Seek individual counseling to help you understand what it was that caused you to become involved with texting this other woman. If your wife is willing, pursue marriage & family counseling together in an effort to resolve the issues that have driven you apart. If such is available where you live, you might also consider some sort of men's support group as another means of "finding yourself" in this whole process. Beyond that, simply continue to be there for your wife & child to whatever extent, & in whatever way, your wife permits.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!