lostbynovember - I am sorry your path has been full of so much struggle and pain. Neuman's book actually shows data that young children who go to individual therapy regarding divorce issues may not get nearly as much out of it as one might hope, though the group approach of his Sandcastles program is supposed to be more effective (though of course, it IS his program, so there's something of a bias there.) I wish you well in recovering.

I realize now, looking back, I have many times over grasped at things to try and fill the hole this left in me, and many times over have ended up hurt by situations I could have avoided, were I not so desperate. I am not sure what I was desperate for, but one of the memories I have written down that also made me teary-eyed was about hugging my dad for the first time after he moved out. I am realizing that I have not really felt safe since I was a child, and the memory of hugging him brought back what it was like to feel safe.

I am starting to think maybe the book is actually a lot more psychodynamic, though I'm not an expert at telling them apart. This seems a lot like the concept of bringing up and re-feeling the stuff you avoided or couldn't handle at the time of the incident. Or at least, that's what's happening to me.

I've started feeling my first obstacle, in that I got the "this isn't really going to help me" voice in my head last night. I hate that voice. It's not going to stop me, though. I think this can definitely help me. It's already helped me reconnect with what I went through during the divorce, even though I was very young and my memories are spotty.