My heart is breaking for you. That is all so terribly sad and I'm sorry you are reliving things so vividly right now. That must be horrible for you. (((Hugs))) I hope you will be able to see your T, as I think her support could be invaluable to you right now. It sounds like PTSD with the dreams and all. I am so very sorry you had had that happen in your life, I cannot even imagine how difficult it much be for you. You sound very strong!