I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must be for you to have to relive this over and over again. It does sound like PTSD. You are processing the trauma and hopefully in doing so you can heal somewhat. Still, you can get bogged down by it all so seeing your T may be a good idea if at all possible. Do all you can to be kind and gentle with yourself and keep posting here as much as you need or want to. We are here for you. I am so sorry for your loss. It feels so inadequate a response but I really care. Sending love and hugs.