thank you so much for your replies. You have all been very understanding. I talked to him today about my own time line of reducing or shortening sessions from now until next June when we end. I said I am away much of august and September which is true. So after that I will reduce my friday session down to less time. And then in Dec I will start reducing my Monday session. By April I will only see him once a week. end of June we finish. I have another two possible therapists in place and ready if I want to start working with them - they are private, he is free. I shall start seeing one of them in September to see if she will be a good person to transition to. I need more security and reassurance from him and today I was very open with him telling him that I know I am not a daughter to him but he is the nearest I ever had a to a loving dad and that I am a 'sort of something' to him, he loves me and I am in his heart and I love him so that means he is never 'not there' for me, he is going to feel there for me and that I can contact him sometime when I need to. He agreed with that and praised me for being able to get to that.
I am so fed of this wrangling that I did get very close to ending totally with him. Very close. But after six years work at twice a week, I don't want a catastrophic ending, from my rage self. I want to make this an amicable measured ending but with me in control.