I, too, find my defensive barriers come shooting up whenever I perceive the teeniest, tiniest threat. It's for good reason. I've not had smooth sailing all my life, and while I'll save you all the long and tedious story of it all, I'll just say I often find that the more defensive I am, the more defensive others are and it builds up and up and up til nothing remotely friendly is even an option anymore.

Maybe I'm partly to blame for my defensiveness, but it's more instinctual than anything. If there's a way to relearn how to be less defensive without feeling so scared and vulnerable, I'd like to hear it.