hm. depression has now moved on to mixed... getting significantly worse.

but the worst part is that my pdoc's office refuses to help me. they say they cant help me because my pdoc is on vacation. then i explained the situation and asked if I could see (or at least talk to) a different pdoc for the time being. then they said, "no, we can't do that. we don't do doctor sharing." so now i can't see a different pdoc in person or talk to a different pdoc on the phone. it's not allowed, not even for emergencies.

now i'm screwed because i leave on tuesday for europe and my pdoc won't be back in his office until then! i have suicidal thoughts and they won't help me with my medication! i'm hopeless