Thank you both very much. Maybe I just need to keep working on my past and it will help me feel safer as I move through the anger and fear.

One of the worst things my mother ever called me (as an adult) was a coward, an adult cousin mocked me and called me a chicken when I was a teenager. I don't know if that's true or not. I just know I don't know how to feel safe with people or life in general.