They tend to make my dissociative amnesia worse. I'll start having black outs more frequently and I'll feel depressed on an anti-depressant. Even Gabapentin for fibromyalgia was setting off massive depression. Once I stopped it the withdrawals caused my black outs. Last time I was on Amitriptyline and I blacked out so long I was in the mental hospital. It took a lot of work with a therapist, tears, and extreme stress but I was able to remember parts of what happened. I had cut myself up. Oddly my moves when blacking out aren't usually suicidal, they seem to be (Once I remember them, if I'm able to) me trying to get attention. Like "Help me, it hurts inside so I need to hurt outside to take this away!". Medicine usually seems to exacerbate the problem, as does extreme stress, high anxiety, etc.

Thankfully I start with a therapist next week. Let's try to remember a good majority of my childhood I've forgotten... I'm scared but medication is only triggering me. This is what I need to do.

Do you ever feel your dissociative disorder took entirely too long to be diagnosed?

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