I think I'm in the final done stage of the relationship with my husband. I've experienced before the conflicted feelings stay/go state that eventually ended with go.

I am so triggered, knowing he is coming home today, and I am going to have to act like a family for my son's sake today.

I just can't stand my husband now. Everything he says is like nails on a chalkboard.

I went through the grieving process for my dying love and marriage all by myself, while he hopelessly hangs on to false hopes about miracles instead of learning to understand me and give me what I need.

The psychiatrist years ago told me I was grieving and that I did not have any MI, I just couldn't stand my husband and that I should leave him. She was right.

And when I told my h what she said, he went there and told her off. That was the only time he took it upon himself to get aggressive with someone. ONLY when it hurt HIM.

I'm going to have to leave, disappearing for the day, showing up just for dinner, letting him have the house and the kids because I am too triggered. I just can't even look at him.

I woke up crying.