Hi Blondie,
Welcome to PC.
It hurts me to read what you're going through. The reason being is because every single one of us is beautiful, and worth more than we know!
I know sometimes it's difficult, but think back on previous accomplishments, how you've helped someone, something positive you've done. Try to create more of those moments.
No one is responsible for your own happiness but you. You have to find the things that make you happy, and do them.
Also, maybe if you let someone in about your feelings it'll also help.

I'm sure your time here at PC will help you. It's definitely helped me!