Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
For example, the desire for reassurance. T would say that I shouldn't seek reassurance so much, that I should just be able to reassure myself. Like my need for reassurance is a sign of my depression, anxiety, and/or OCD.
so to hear that something is just another sign of my mental illness and that I shouldn't want/need it just makes me feel worse. To hear that something is a completely normal desire, that makes me feel much better. It's validating. Yes, I need to learn to live without frequent reassurance, but knowing it's a natural human desire makes me feel less like there's something wrong with me, less like I should be suppressing my emotions, less like I'm broken.
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I think it is subtle and T is trying for changing actions, not feeling. Your T does not say the desire for reassurance is abnormal, just the constant seeking for reassurance (which never seems to reassure?), that behavior. You don't have to change or suppress your emotions, they are valuable guides to what is happening with you and help you know yourself better and how to respond to issues with yourself or others. "Ah, I'm anxious and searching for reassurance; let's look at what I'm anxious about" and focusing on the actual issue making you anxious and how to resolve that issue, instead of trying to tell yourself you "should not be" anxious or seeing reassurance is the object I think. Focusing on the need for reassurance is secondary to the actual problem, what is making you anxious? You cannot control or change how you feel, only how you act and respond and positive actions and responses will create positive feelings.