I can't believe these LinkedIn profiles exist, but they do ... ladies and gentlemen, I give you heroic job seeker and professional schmoozer extraordinaire, George Costanza.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/george-costanza-a89b469
https://www.linkedin.com/in/george-costanza-b198a419
For those of you not familiar with George, here is his biography:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Costanza