Hello blondie1995: I'm so sorry you are struggling with this anger. The Skeezyks too harbors a lot of anger... both over things that were done to me but also with regard to things that weren't done for me... many years ago. Here I am 68 years young & it all still bothers me. Unfortunately, the truth is that having been gored myself when I was young, I turned around & did the same thing to others who deserved infinitely better from me. This stokes my anger (& guilt) as well. It is the sad reality of the human condition I fear.

In my case, it's all water over the dam now. There's no longer anything that can be done about any of it. It simply is what it is. What I have found, in my own life, is that trying to block or stuff down my anger has not worked. It has simply kept coming back over-&-over. So what I strive to do is to simply accept how I feel... with compassion & lovingkindness. When the angry thoughts come up, I breathe into them, smile to them. I may even place my hand over my heart as a sign of my acceptance of what I am feeling. After a few breaths I drop the "storyline" (what I'm remembering that fuels my anger) & simply stay with the underlying emotion until it fades.

Two things result from this practice. One is that, over time, the angry thoughts & memories tend to lessen. But perhaps more importantly one learns that it is possible to stay with difficult thoughts & emotions & not be knocked off balance, so to speak. I wish you well...