Hello Wiscmax34: Welcome (back) to PsychCentral! I'm sorry you are once again in the throes of this depression. Congratulations, though, on having finished your Master's degree! The Skeezyks also spends too much time contemplating the possibility of death. (I've put forth some efforts toward that end, in the past, as well.)

I presume I don't need to tell you that drinking, especially while on psych med's is bad business. You don't mention, in your post, if you're seeing a therapist. I hope so. Continuing to allow these dark thoughts to roll around in your mind will only cause you additional misery. Of course, posting here on PC can help. But it's not a substitute for real life help. So, if you are not already doing so, please consider reaching out for help, in real life. I wish you all the best in your struggles.